Parents who are going through child custody battles have to ensure they’re doing what’s best for the children. It isn’t always easy to work through things with your ex, but it makes the situation much easier for everyone involved if you’re able to.
There are a few specific mistakes you should do your best to avoid when you’re working through child custody situations. If you can avoid these, you can provide a more stable environment for the kids.
#1: Let go of the past
Living in the past is one of the easiest ways to get upset about things you can’t change now. It’s best to let the past go unless there were situations that could lead to harm to the children now. For example, bringing up abuse or neglect of the children might be in order now.
#2: Minimize their packing
Children have to go back and forth between homes. Try to minimize their packing. The children could have certain items, such as undergarments, hygiene items and similar things at each home so they don’t have to worry about those. Other items, such as school things or sports equipment, will probably have to be brought back and forth.
#3: Set realistic expectations
Some parents try to coddle the children immediately after the split. This sets an unrealistic expectations for the kids. Instead, set the rules and provide them with the consistency they need from the start.
#4: Listen to the children
Take the time to talk to the children. You might be surprised by some of their concerns or thoughts. Having discussions with them gives you a chance to find out more about how you can help them as they adjust to the new way of life.
#5: Keep conflict away from the kids
You and your ex should always talk in private about contentious matters. Never use transition days to have these discussions. Additionally, don’t badmouth your ex in front of the children. Provide the kids with the peaceful environment they need now.
Making sure you have the parenting plan in place as soon as possible after you split up with your ex can help you to have everything in order for your children. This should be set based on what they need now, not what you think they’ll need in the future. Modification of the terms is possible if their needs change significantly in the future.